Pizza Bianca

This came from a fancy Vop friend of mine that makes cooking 20 times harder than it needs to be.  So I’ll post the way I make the dough.  If you want to proof yeast and crap, go ahead.

  • 1 3/4 tsp dry yeast
  • pinch of sugar
  • 1 3/4 cup water
  • 3 1/2 cup unbleached all-purpose flour
  • 1 cup semolina flour
  • 1 tsp salt

In my bread machine, liquids go on bottom.  Dough cycle.  Run it and let it rise.  Punch down, knead and let it rise a second time.  I’d bet the second rising could be skipped.  Makes two 12 inch crusts.

I put a tiny bit of oregano and/or basil in my dough.  After I roll it out, I brush it with olive oil and sprinkle a little oregano on it.  But careful with it – it can overpower it.

I bake on pizza stones.  The semolina flour on the pizza peel helps, but don’t have a wet dough or you will have a disaster.

The pizza does not have a tomato sauce.

  • 4 ounces goat cheese, crumbled
  • 1 cup freshly grated parmesan cheese (about 4 ounces)
  • 1 cup freshly grated provolone cheese (about 4 ounces)

Put the cheeses on the dough, then add any veggies you want.  I have used all kinds of veggies and you can make a really colorful presentation.

His recipe cooked the pizza on pans.  450 about 20 minutes.

If you have yeast that is not past its date, I just don’t have a problem with yeast not rising.  I have, however, (once) killed the yeast with water that was too hot.  Forget all that temperature crap with the water and all that proofing bullshit.  Life is too short.

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Levin Schools a “Principled” Non Voter

Mark Levin got a call from one of those pouting wimpy assed tards that refuse to vote if their candidate is not nominated.

Levingripe

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The Meaning of Rescue

– Author Unknown

Now that I’m home, bathed, settled and fed.
All nicely tucked in my warm new bed,

I’d like to open my baggage, lest I forget,
There is so much to carry – So much to regret

Hmmm… Yes, there it is, right on the top,
Let’s unpack Loneliness, Heartache and Loss,
And there by my perch hides Fear and Shame.

As I look on these things I tried so hard to leave –
I still have to unpack my baggage called Pain.

I loved them, the others, the ones who left me,
But I wasn’t good enough – for they didn’t want me.

Will you add to my baggage?  Will you help me unpack?
Or will you just look at my things – And take me right back?

Do you have the time to help me unpack?
To put away my baggage, to never repack?

I pray that you do – I’m so tired you see,
But I do come with baggage – Will you still want me?

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Brussels Sprouts with Cream Sauce

I’d eat dawg crap with this sauce.

  • 3 tablespoons butter
  • 3 tablespoons all purpose flour
  • 2 cups whipping cream
  • 2 cloves garlic, minced
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground bay leaves (I just put a whole bay leaf in the sauce.)
  • salt and ground pepper to taste
  • 2/3 cup half and half
  • 3 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese
  • 2 1/2 pounds fresh Brussels sprouts
  • 1 3/4 cup water

Melt butter in a heave saucepan over low heat.  Add flour, stirring until smooth.  Cook 1 minute stirring constantly.  Gradually add whipping cream.  Cookover medium heat until mixture is thickened and bubbly, stirring constantly.  Add garlic, bay leaf, salt and pepper.  Cook 3 minutes, stirring constantly.  Beat half and half and Parmesan cheese into whipping cream mixture with a wire whisk.  Remove from heat, cover and let stand 5 minutes.  Keep warm.

Wash Brussels sprouts well and remove discolored leaves.  Cut off stems and cut a shallow X into the bottom of each sprout.  Combine Brussels sprouts and water in a large saucepan.  Bring to a boil, cover, reduce heat and simmer 10-12 minutes or until sprouts are tender.  Drain well and transfer sprouts to a serving bowl.  Pour warm sauce over sprouts and toss.  Serve immediately.

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the answer to “how we got stuck with mclettuce”

The same way we are going to be “stuck with Romney”.

Listen to us.  Us being any group of conservatives.

NOT the Paultards.  They are wackjobs, not conservatives.  The “us” does not include them.

Granted, not everyone is a pragmatist like me.  But I wonder if we hear ourselves when we talk about the candidates.  Don’t confuse pragmatism with purity.  Throwing the label of purity on someone is the last tactic conservatives use when they can no longer defend a position their favored candidate holds.

All candidates have sins.  Sin being defined as a position we believe to be contrary to our definition of conservatism.  My goal is not a purist “any and all sins are unforgivable and disqualifies a candidate”, but to find the candidate with the least sin.  The least sin and the smallest sin.  Yes, there are big sins and small sins.

  • cutting the military budget 90% is a big sin
  • funding the Department of Education is a small sin

Some sins are absolute disqualifiers.  Others might piss me off but something I can live with.  Huntsman has lady lips that are grotesquely freakish on a man.  But if that was his biggest sin, I’d back him.  The problem comes in with the placement on the sin scale.  We don’t agree on where grotesquely freakish lady lips fall in the sin hierarchy.

Granted, grotesquely freakish lady lips on a man is a silly sin.  But some of our own reasons for disliking a candidate are every bit as silly.

I am sometimes guilty of giving silly sins a higher place on the sin scale than a silly sin merits.  In the CNN debate on October 18th, Perry had a stance (his physical stance) that made him look like his thong had crawled up his asshole.  It was a silly sin but something I noticed and did not like.  Only a fool or a democrap would vote against Perry because he looked like a sissy queen trying to act butch.

My objection to Palin is also a silly sin.  I don’t like the way she talks.  It sounds flowery to me.  Flowery meaning trying to impress people with vocabulary.  It detracts from any point she tries to make.  Keeps me on the edge of my seat wondering when she will use another word incorrectly and struggling to understand the meaning when she gets lost and starts throwing in backwards prepositional phrases.

As of now, here is my sin list.

Romney

For me, Romney’s biggest sin is that I have no trust in him.  Nor anyone that has changed his position on so many major issues.  With all his flip flops, he is still defending Romneycare.  For a conservative it can’t be defended.  But he still tries.  Romneycare is a blatant failure and to try to defend it is insane.  I question his judgment on his decision to cling to his foolish excuses.  It leads me to believe Romney’s principles are whatever the latest poll tells him they are.

He has a silly sin too.  Romney seems greasy to me.

Santorum

Backed Mike Castle when there was a conservative alternative.  I suspect he bowed to the establishment republicans on this.

Newt

Climate change.

Cain

999.  Opening up a new revenue source to the federal government is a HUGE mistake.  Rates WILL change.  His defense is annoying but not NEARLY as annoying as people that support him.  Most of the defense requires you to ignore the implementation of a new national sales tax and dream of other things.

Even Mark Levin addressed Cain’s 999 plan.  He said he would support it if the 16th amendment to the constitution was repealed and the income taxes were withdrawn.  Really?  That would be a COMPLETELY different plan.  A tiny step like repealing an amendment is no small task and should NOT be glossed over in a discussion of his plan.  Levin was describing the Fair Tax.  NOT Cain’s 999 plan.

Two state solution.  He had no idea what it was.  Really?  Running for president and has no clue about that?  His supporters sound foolish trying to explain that away.

Cain has a tendency to shoot off his mouth and later claim it was a joke when confronted with his words and the cheering audience is gone.  When he can’t claim something was humor, he uses the “misspoke” excuse.  He said he would negotiate with terrorists.  Then said he misspoke about that.  I don’t want anyone that “misspeaks” so often having their finger on the button or negotiating anything.

Perry

Perry loves clots.  Clotinos.  Just like the Bush family.  Like the Bush family, he denies it.

He says he wants to stop the flood of illegals over the border and has spent 10 years fighting it.  And spent buttloads of money doing it.  When you point out that he has failed, we hear “its the fed’s job”.  Really?  Then why is he claiming success on doing the job he says is not his?  Drive down to the Harry Hines overpass in Dallas any morning and you’ll find hordes of them waiting for someone to pick them up for a day job.  I have never heard Perry speak out against Houston’s sanctuary city policy.  His words don’t match his deeds on this.  And using “its the fed’s job” as an excuse, when he is clearly trying to take credit for doing a job that is not his, is greasy.

Granting in state tuition to illegal aliens betrays his words when he speaks about border control.

No conservative would sign an executive order for a STD vaccine.  The opt out excuse is, at best, lame.

Its also lame to claim that Perry “created” jobs in Texas.  Government, state or federal, does not create jobs.  Texas has not chased off employers with regulations and taxes.  Perry does NOT pass laws.  The Texas legislature (that we only allow to meet once every two years) passes laws.  Perry can only choose to sign the laws or not sign them.  Credit for the Texas job environment goes to the voters of Texas who have not elected legislators that pass those taxes and regulations.

Bachmann

I’m still looking and not finding many.  I do have a silly sin of hers.  She has a tiny bit of Palinspeak syndrome.  A little unnerving to hear her speak.

And I have been shopping around for her sins.  Asked lots of people.  Without exception, they struggle for an answer if they try at all to answer it.  Their answers are the answer to the “how we got stuck with McLettuce” question.

Crazy eyes.  Someone actually said that.  They are basing their choice of president on “crazy eyes”.  They have a right to do that.  I have a right to call them insane.  They would rather have a new tax source for the federal government or open borders because they don’t like “crazy eyes”.  That is how we got stuck with McLettuce.

Unelectable.  This is the most common sin cited.  They rail about the media picking candidates for us as they buy into the very tactic that allows the media to have that power.  Then blame anyone except themselves when the tactic is successful.  Ask them who says Bachmann is unelectable and they cite people they claim to loathe:  RINOs.  Sometimes they cite “the polls” as if the people polled are from Mars.  WE are the people they poll.  That is how we got stuck with McLettuce.

Experience.  Really?  She has experience in government and the private sector.

Social conservative.  This is hilarious.  What they mean is “I want to be really cool and pretend that gender does not exist or matter.”  Or “Hands off my weed.  I need it to escape the reality of my sad life.”  They deny the meaning of the word marriage.  They invent a right that is being denied.  They savor “the fight”.

The insanity of their logic is that in congress, Bachmann can introduce a bill banning all gay marriage.  As president, she has the option of signing or vetoing a bill presented to her.  ONLY a member of congress can introduce a bill.  Not a president.  Its a non issue.  They feel so strongly about it that they will vote for another candidate that has the exact same stand on gay marriage, along with open borders or a national sales tax.  That is how we got stuck with McLettuce.

Its lame to deny the existence of a candidate’s sins.  It lame to make excuses for them or plead for people to ignore those sins and dream of some other issue.  We are really arguing about where their sins rank on the sin scale.  If you support Perry, admit that he won’t seal the border and that is something you can live with.  For whatever reason.  His sins might rank low enough on your sin scale.  That is valid.  Its not valid to say he has no sin.

A favorite pastime of conservatives is to make up reasons why McLettuce got the nod.  The one I hear most is “the republican establishment chose McLettuce for us”.  I guess they think that would absolve them of all responsibility.  Somehow, a mystical “establishment” subverted all the votes cast in the primary and magically elevated McLettuce to be the GOP candidate.

Here’s the fact.  McLettuce got the most votes.  The reasons can be debated but he got the most votes in the GOP primary.  I think he got the most votes because people bought into the “unelectable” game.  The same thing is happening again.  And when Romney gets enough votes to secure the GOP nod, we will go back to blaming the magical “GOP establishment” fairy.

“Strategy” voters are not usually as smart as they think they are.  They might like Huntsman and Huntsman might have the least sin of all candidates, but they are not backing him.  Ask why and you will get “he can’t win” or “he is splitting the <fill in the blank> vote”.  Without fail, they got those lines from either “the media” or “the establishment republican” talking heads.  They will NEVER be able to tell you the talking heads’ track record of being correct.  But they sound good parroting the line.  That is how we got stuck with McLettuce.

Way too many of us blindly follow the herd.  The leaders in the polls are deemed inevitable so they jump on the bandwagon instead of discussing the poll leaders’ sins.  Some also buy into the “speak no evil of a GOP candidate” commandment.  As if the democraps won’t know about a sin if we only ignore it in the primaries.  That is how we got stuck with McLettuce.

You might not get to vote for the candidate you choose because of the primary schedule, but I don’t think there was a single state that only had McLettuce as a choice on their ballot.  I’m not nuts about the way we have our primary set up.  But it not why McLettuce got the nod.  He got the most votes.

WE are the reason why he got those votes.

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Why LightSquared Matters

Because it destroys GPS.

This is my simplistic explanation of how it does that and why LightSquared is allowed to move forward with their plans.

The evil military set up GPS.  I love it.  Because I have no sense of direction.

GPS is a bunch of satellites with radio transmitters on them.  If you know how far you are from any three points, you can plot your position.  Or any four points.  Or more points.  We can use the radio transmission from each satellite to know how far we are from them.  With the distance from three satellites, we have triangulated our position.

It amazes me.  Extremely accurate when you consider how far away those satellites are.  When the military first deployed the satellites, they did not want our foes to use them and have all the advantages they provide.  So they “dithered” the signal to give a less accurate positioning capability.  As civilians starting using GPS, they began to overcome the dithering so I think the military dropped it and just lets everyone in on the fun.

To triangulate your position, you need a receiver tuned to the radio frequency that the satellites are transmitting.  You need a very sensitive receiver.  Because the radio transmitters on the satellites are very far away and the transmitters are very weak (low power).

Radio waves are interesting.  Its a spectrum.  Our sun transmits waves.  Light waves.  And our eyes are receivers tuned to pick up some of the waves transmitted.  Our eyes cannot “pick up” infrared light.  Your TV remote transmits infrared light to a receiver on the TV that is tuned to that frequency.  Our eyes cannot “pick up” the frequency transmitted by a clarinet.  But our ears can.  Our ears are receivers tuned to the clarinet frequency but our TVs are not.

The human animal can only use certain wave frequencies that our receivers are tuned to.  That does not mean that other frequencies don’t bombard our receivers.  Infrared light can hit our ear drums and retinas but infrared light is not processed by our ears and eyes because they are not tuned to that frequency.  FM radio, WIFI, broadcast TV and Bluetooth also bombard our eyes and ears but we have no receiver tuned to those wave frequencies.

Microwaves are waves.  Your microwave oven is a radio transmitter.  In that area of the wave spectrum, some molecules vibrate when bombarded by microwaves.  The vibration causes friction which causes heat.  Rub your hands together fast and the friction will create heat too.  That is all a microwave oven is.  And a metal box to contain the radio waves.  If the microwaves escaped and hit your body, you’d know it and get away fast.  The microwaves would vibrate the molecules they hit and create heat.  Cook your ass.  Though microwaves are called “radiation”, its not cumulative in your body.  Every exposure to microwaves are a “first time exposure”.  This is not true of X-ray radiation.

X-rays are another part of the wave spectrum.  Located on the high end above microwaves.  Gamma rays are still higher.  X-ray radiation exposure is cumulative.  Its a bad idea to play with them and a good idea to limit your exposure.  Though a Paultard would disagree, we need to regulate X-rays.  I don’t want my neighbor emitting X-rays at my house.  Or microwaves.  I do want planes emitting microwaves.  Weather radar saves lives by allowing pilots to avoid tornadoes, wind shear and microbursts.  (Yes, weather radar in planes use microwaves and if you walk within about 40 feet in front of a plane with its weather radar operating, it will cook your ass.)

Some waves are dangerous.  Some are dangerous if amplified too much.  My neighbor’s 60 watt light bulb will not harm me but his laser could blind me.  His TV won’t harm my hearing but at some volume, it could make me deaf.  Other areas of the spectrum need to be regulated in order for them to be useful.  If your keychain fob for your car knocked out my WIFI when you press its buttons, I am going to be pissed and shove that fob up your ass.  If your cordless phone overpowers my radio and broadcasts your boring conversation through my radio, your phone will join your fob up your bunghole.  (Love, love, love that word.  Ima work cornhole in before the end so keep reading.)

To the chagrin of the Paultard wackjobs, the FCC regulates much of the radio spectrum.  Without the order of this regulation, we’d all be walking around with tons of transmitters up our cornholes.  A ringing phone might raise your garage door.  A Blackberry text message might set off a heart pacemaker.  So rational people welcome order in the spectrum.  It enhances our lives and sometimes, saves our lives.

An obvious illustration might be the AM radio frequencies.  These frequencies are assigned by the FCC to private companies to use.  If I am allocated frequency 820 in Dallas and allowed to transmit at 50 watts, you are not allowed to transmit on that frequency at 1,000 watts in Dallas.  Your transmission would overpower mine.  Move your transmitter to Chicago and its all good.  This happens in Dallas sometimes with Messican radio stations transmitting from beyond the reach of the FCC.  Tune to your favorite Polka station and you might get Mariachi music instead.

Nor will the FCC allow you to transmit your 80s hair band tunes at 1,000 watts at 820.1 in Dallas.  It well “bleed over” into my transmission at 820 and render my polka tune transmission unusable.  Keeping transmissions separated means everyone is heard, even my wimpy 50 watt transmission.

This is why LightSquared matters.  When GPS was deployed, it was agreed that the part of the spectrum used by GPS would be considered a “quiet neighborhood”.  No one would use the radio spectrum assigned to GPS or the portion of the spectrum near the GPS frequencies.  No one would “bleed over” into the weak GPS transmissions.

But government is greedy.  Never enough money.  And the unused spectrum was making them salivate.  They wanted to auction it off to the highest bidder.  They started off with the high and low ends of the reserved spectrum.  This is what your “digital” cell phone uses.  The FCC auctioned it off to “minorities”.  Meaning, minorities got extra credit when bidding for chunks of the spectrum.  So Sprint and AT&T found some black women and set them up in business to win the bidding game.  Then they paid off the black women and set up the cell phone network.

So far so good.  GPS could coexist with the cell phone network because the frequencies were not close enough to the GPS frequencies to overpower them.  The “quiet neighborhood” shrank but was still adequate.

But government wants more.  And idle frequencies are money.  Money OR political paybacks.  And somehow, the company (now called) LightSquared got two chunks of frequency adjacent to the GPS spectrum at “bargain basement” prices.  The plan evolved into a $14 billion network that would transmit from thousands of ground based transmitters at very high power (40,000 watts as best I recall).  Additionally, LightSquared plans to transmit from satellites on those same frequencies.  The “quiet neighborhood” will be too small for GPS to be heard.  Their transmissions will be overpowered by LightSquared’s network.

Where the hell does someone get $14 billion dollars for such a massive project and how the hell did they get awarded that spectrum?

The money for huge projects like this seems to magically appear when snake oil salesmen like Al Gore gets involved.  Can you say Global Crossing?  It was a “scheme” to lay shitloads of fiber optic cable that would encircle the globe 50 times.  Do we need that?  Not really.

When you make a transatlantic phone call, your voice is converted to a series of light flashes that are sent through a glass fiber across the ocean.  It is converted back to voice on the other end.  When you make that call, are you assigned a dedicated fiber optic cable?  Naw.  Light travels fast.  Faster than you can talk.  It makes no sense to have that expensive cable sitting idle so we multiplex many conversations on that same cable.  Many, many conversations.  Along with You Tube video data.  Your voice and internet traffic are just data.  Shitloads of data can be flashed down a tiny fiber of glass smaller than human hair.  Shitloads of these fibers are in each cable.  Unlike copper wires transmitting electrical signals, light flashing down glass does not “bleed” into its neighboring fiber cables.

But shitloads have a limit too.  So as we approached that limit, some nerd said “Hey.  Why don’t we send one conversation on the blue spectrum of the light and another on the red.  And another on the green.”  That would triple the data that can be sent but why not use the teal and magenta light frequencies too.  So shitloads of data was multipled to shitloads and shitloads of data.  When shitloads and shitloads of data was not enough, the same nerd said “Hey again.  Why don’t we point one beam of light slightly upward in that glass fiber and let it bounce up and down as it travels down that glass.  And another slightly downward on the same cable.”  That would double shitloads and shitloads and adding a third beam of light would triple it.  All this adds up to assloads of data.  Wonderful people those nerds.

Global Crossing went bankrupt.  I bet Al Gore came out with assloads of money though.

It seems to me that all these “huge idea” ventures are a shell to give politicians money.  They put in $20 of their capital, paste their face on the company, sucker in billions of dollars from fools and bail out with a few hundred million before the company implodes.  Sometimes lending the face to the company is all they contribute.  Ala Gore and Google.  This is how the Stephens family funneled money to the Clintons in Arkansas.

In any event, Global Crossing did “lay fiber”.  And those assets do not vanish when the company dissolves.  The fiber can be sold at a fraction of the cost to companies that can use it.  Sometimes the assets are bought to prevent a competitor from buying them and the assets sit idle.  If we can transmit every book in the Library of Congress around the globe 5 billion times in one second, do we need to?  Will having the ability to transmit it 50 billion times be better?

“Big idea” companies never complete their goal.  High speed internet on planes is something everyone wants.  Internet access has been available for planes awhile, but it has been painfully slow.  And painfully expensive.  Shitloads of money for (what seemed like) dialup.  Internet on planes is from satellites.  Launching a bigo hunk of metal into space is very expensive.  It is also expensive for a company to “rent” a satellite to transmit and receive a frequency the FCC has assigned to them.  Even if that same satellite is doing the same for other companies with the frequencies they “own”.

The GPS network of satellites was “built out” (deployed) by our military.  It cost billions.  It was a “big idea” that, at the time, only the government could achieve.  Internet broadband on planes is one of those “big ideas”.  But it was not accomplished by the first company that tried it.  Gulfstream has a broadband internet service for their planes.  Real broadband.  As in high speed.  Gulfstream did not launch satellites.  It places the transmitter and receiver in the tail of their planes and lets you subscribe to the service provider.  If you can find the service provider.  The name seems to change weekly.  At least up to the point the build out was completed.

The big idea starts with a snake oil salesman.  It begins to build out part of the network and goes under.  A second snake oil salesman buys the assets at bargain basement prices and builds out a little more of the network.  The cycle continues until there is a functioning network.  It happened with the old, slow plane internet and it happened with the new one.

LightSquared is one of these interim snake oil companies.  It is building on the failure of a previous “big idea” company.  The broadband internet for planes was born of the same process BUT the end product (high speed internet on planes) did not destroy the usefulness of anyone else on the frequency spectrum.  LightSquared will.  “Investors” believe nerds can do anything.  At least the snake oil salesman believe it and either skip the details or lie to investors.  Until the check clears.

Obama invested in one of the LightSquared predecessor snake oil companies.  $90 grand.  I hear he lost money on the investment, as most in those predecessor companies do.  Coincidentally, his investment was made the day the FCC “sold” the frequencies to the company.  Funny how the definition of insider information never seems to cover politicians.  Without an assigned frequency, there is no company.  And the government has control of who gets the frequencies.  How comfy.

No one sits around and reads about the daily machinations of the FCC.  But eventually it came to light that LightSquared was planning to deploy a network using the frequencies adjacent to the GPS “quiet neighborhood”.  The military howled.  So did Garmin.  So did the people using cranes.  So did surveyors.  And aviation.  Planes use GPS.  Shitloads of stuff use GPS.    As word spread that turning up the LightSquared network would cause GPS problems, investors fled.  Almost all of them.  The more organized the opposition the less money LightSquared was left with.

As I said earlier, it costs a shitload of money to launch a satellite or rent time on one.  It costs another shitload to set up tens of thousands of cell phone transmitter towers.  The estimate I read was $20 billion.  As LightSquared’s investors fled, one investor’s hedge fund filled the money gap.  Harbinger Capital Partners.  Today, Harbinger is about the only LightSquared investor.

Hedge funds are great vehicles to funnel politicians money.  Ask Al Gore again.  He was given a hedge fund “job” and was given shitloads of money.  Because Gore is an investment wunderkind.  HAHAHAHAHA.  Hedge fund managers are fatass metrosexuals that have standing mani/pedi appointments.  And colonic appointments.  They are so full of shit that they need hot Perrier shot in their ass and the shit pumped out.

Hedge funds are also a great job for people that fail at everything in life except selling snake oil.  Too stoopid to tie a knot?  Become a hedge fund manager.  Con other people out of money by selling them on the value of someone else’s ideas and work.  Then charge them fees out the ass so you can buy that plane and join the mile high colonic club.  The scam will run its course and collapse eventually but you’ll live quite well until then.  After the fall, start another hedge fund.  There are tons of fools willing to pay for your enemas.  I mean, colonics.

Sometimes, in the wake of the ruin, fiber optic cable is left behind for others to scoop up.  Or a broadband internet service for planes.

Phillip Falcone is Harbinger.  One fancy office with a 30th floor address on Park Avenue and the colonic addict Phillip Falcone.  I wonder if he had that same office for his other failed fund.  I know he had at least one previous failure because he “borrowed” $116 million to pay his taxes.  Forgot to tell his investors about it until a year or so later when the company failed and the investors lost their money.  But the fat Falcone got a ton of enemas before he fucked the investors.  (How does someone owe $116 million in taxes in one year.  I smell a tax cheat that could not delay paying the IRS another week.)

As half sane investors fled the LightSquared sinking ship, Falcone has tried to increase his fund’s holdings in LightSquared to keep it afloat.  To do this, he has had to dump other investments held by his scam.  I mean, he has had to dump other investments held by his company.  Today, Harbinger Capital Partners has close to one investment.  LightSquared.  And LightSquared has close to one investor.  Harbinger.  LightSquared is Harginger.  Harbinger is LightSquared.  And Harbinger is Phillip Falcone.  He has it all on the line with LightSquared.  Well I say he.  What I mean is the current fund he is running.  Harbinger was founded in 2001 and my bet is there will be another fund when this one crashes.  “Phillip” loves a good scam and enemas ain’t free.  Colonics.  I meant colonics.  Colonics ain’t free.  Unless you visit a gay bath house.

I can imagine the concept would be easy to sell.  A nationwide cell phone and data network with zero “dead spots”.  LightSquared was not planning to sell service to you.  It was planning to sell it to the manufacturer of your phone.  Or your tablet.  Or whatever devices need data.  Not necessarily to Verizon.  To device manufacturers.  Samsung.  Motorolla.  You buy the device you want.  Not the devices Sprint offers.  If the ground cell towers are blocked by something, the satellite will take over the connection.  Not a bad idea.  Not a cheap idea to build out that network.

But we know that network encroaches too close to the GPS network.  We know that.  And we know that today.  Who the hell told LightSquared they could use those frequencies and shouldn’t they have known better?

The answers are the FCC and Yes.  I don’t know if the FCC made the decision on its own that they could sell off the two frequencies.  I do know that Obama’s head of the FCC, Julius Genachowski has begun to clinch his asshole since this came to light.  LightSquared suddenly started waving around a FCC waiver in January to its investors to calm their fears.  The people that would be involved in the FCC waiver process knew nothing about it.  They were bypassed and the waiver magically appeared in LightSquared’s hands.

This intensified the questions by those objecting to use of the frequencies.  The National Business Aviation Association (NBAA) gathered other concerned parties and we filed a lawsuit.  Which finally got a conversation started.  LightSquared on one side.  The Pentagon, Department of Agriculture (those big damn machines need GPS too), personal GPS manufacturers, aviation and a shitload of others on the other side.

If you have read this far, you know much more than hedge fund investors know about this.  Falcone knows a fuckload more about enemas than you though.  COLONICS.  I mean colonics.  But colonic boi says he has the frequencies and damn the torpedoes, he is moving forward.  Evidently lawyers make Mr. Clenched Asshole Genachowski nervous.  Not nervous enough to stop LightSquared.  But nervous enough to try to use psychobabble peace queer talk to make everyone happy.  It did not work because those of us opposing LightSquared have too much at stake to fall for psychobabble.

Everyone agreed on a big delaying tactic.  A “work group” would be formed to experiment and study the question:  Will LightSquared’s network screw up GPS.  Everyone knows the answer but the work group idea was agreed to.  Participants would be in sub-teams to study the impact on:

Aviation

Cellular

General Location and Navigation

High Precision, Timing Networks

Space-based Receivers

And of course LightSquared was present to validate the legitimacy of the tests.  And were allowed to add their own section to the final report that the work group would produce.

The report was published June 30th of this year.  You can read it here:

http://www.saveourgps.org/interference-studies.aspx

First line of the Executive Summary portion of the report:

“The final report of the Federal Communications Commission (FCC)-mandated Technical Working Group (TWG) clearly and conclusively demonstrates that the ground-based cellular network deployment planned by LightSquared when the TWG was formed would cause devastating interference to millions of GPS users.”

The answer we already knew before we spent shitloads of time, energy and money.

Without getting into too much nerdspeak, this paragraph from the same report is important:

“The tests were all conducted at a 90 percent power reduction from the LightSquared’s FCC authorized transmit power levels of almost 16,000 Watts. Even at these drastically reduced emitted transmission levels, at the Las Vegas “live sky” tests power levels of up to 800 billion times the received GPS signal were recorded next to GPS receivers on the ground at around 500 feet from a single cell tower.  Even a mile away from the tower, power levels up to a billion times the distant GPS signals were recorded.  Given typical cell tower spacing, GPS users would never escape these extreme power levels anywhere within LightSquared’s broadband network footprint, planned to cover 92 percent of the population within four years. Even GPS receivers in outer space, 500 miles up in orbit, did not escape harmful interference from the network.”

Did you understand that?  The tests were done at 10% of the planned power levels.  For one tower.  When the tests were performed, the FAA issued a TFR (temporary flight restriction) in the test airspace.  They were worried about the impact on a plane flying anywhere near the tower.

Problem solved.  No LightSquared network.  Scientific proof.

Not so fast.  LightSquared has pictures of Obama and Genachowski getting fucked by a donkey or something.  Because LightSquared is still being allowed to move forward.

God bless Issa and Grassley.  They are looking for those pictures.  So are other legal foundations and web sites.  iwatchnews.com filed a FOIA and got some e/mail between the whitehouse and LightSquared.  And connecting the dots of contributions to democraps and the democrap party.  The e/mails they quote discuss meetings with the Obama administration officials and always seem to mention that a good meeting time for LightSquared is when they will already be in town for a democrap fundraiser.  Here is one quote:

“I touched base with my client Sanjiv Ahuja and he expressed an interest in meeting with you…He is going to be in DC next week for a fundraising dinner with the President.”

Sanjiv is the CEO of Lightsquared.  He and his wife seem to coincidentally make maximum donations to democraps when FCC magic waivers are needed.

Maybe congress should ask Genachowski (an Obama bundler, wonder if he knows what a frequency is) about this.  They tried.  He refused to show up.  Defied congress and not in the hoosegow.  Probably promoted.

Genachowski might have flipped off congress.  But not the Pentagon.  They are big time pissed about this.  And the Pentagon’s boss is Obama.  Obama seems to think that means the Pentagon cannot speak fact to congress.  The Pentagon must say anything and everything Obama tells them to say.  Even lie for Obama.

With the General’s testimony, Obama wanted to force him to lie, but settled on a pussy addition that he could deny was an outright lie.  He wanted the General to say “LightSquared can fix the problem.  We need to give them more time to study this problem.”

We HAVE studied the problem.  We have the answer.  Don’t use those two frequencies.  The smartest people on the planet agree on that.  But the Obama bundlers know more than them.

Now we have a second witness that was asked to make “additions” to his congressional testimony.

What does LightSquared say when confronted with the facts?

Several conflicting things.

First they can “fix” the problem.  No clue how but they want us to believe a miracle will emerge from enema boi’s ass during his next colonic.

Next they say they will deploy at half power.  The fact that the tests were done at 10% power and still blocked GPS reception has to be ignored.  At 50% power it would be worse.

Next they say they will only use one of the two frequencies they “own”.  The one farthest from the GPS spectrum.  Even though that frequency was included in the tests and demonstrated to screw GPS signals.

The last thing I have heard them say is “too bad”.  Screw your GPS system.  Its not our problem.  If you want GPS, you figure it out.  Deploy a stronger satellite transmission or fix all GPS receivers to block our frequencies.

What if we make new receivers that can filter out their frequencies but they cost $18 trillion dollars each?  What if they weigh as much as the planet Jupiter?  What if they are the size of China?  Why should I be inconvenienced in any way for Obama bundlers and enema boiz to get rich?

Another possible answer to the “why is Obama determined to allow this to happen” question is it fulfills one of his promises.  He has said that everyone should have access to broadband.  I read that to mean free access.  I can’t prove it yet (because no one has asked), but I bet LightSquared has agreed to give the government a percentage of the service.  For Obama to give away free broadband to those in “poverty”.  Internet and cell phone access, in the libtard’s pointy head, is a right.

Enema boi – I mean Phillip Falcone was interviewed by Megyn Kelly.  I posted the video on YouTube.  With many scandals, complexity is the crook’s best friend.  Decades ago we had a HUGE scandal involving a bank named BCCI.  No one got in trouble for stealing billions because the complexity of the scandal could not be explained in a 30 second news story.  This is why no one knows what LightSquared is and what the problem is.

So the complexity had Megyn Kelly befuddled but so did her lack of technical understanding.  If you listen to the interview, you will see that enema boi takes advantage of that and also muddies the waters more.  Listen with your post “it depends what the meaning of is is” mindset and you will hear him say the “company” was not given access to the General’s testimony.  But what company?  LightSquared?  Harbinger?  If ever under oath, he can say “I thought she meant Harbinger.  That is the company I own and the only company I can speak for.”

You will hear libtardz defend LightSquared by saying “If it is possible for LightSquared to screw the military’s use of GPS, then our enemies could do the same thing.”  As if this is the first time anyone has thought of that and LightSquared is a hero for finding that little problem.  Could our foes broadcast on the GPS frequencies and screw up guidance systems?  Yes.  But we would take out those transmitters.  From the ground or air.  It is a very different animal to screw ourselves by allowing enema boiz to deliberately use those frequencies.

Will the network be deployed?  I doubt it.  GPS is too embedded in our life to give up.  When the heat was turned up too high on the FCC, the waiver had a “but only if you can fix that GPS thing” clause added.  When a final “no” is given to LightSquared, the money will stop for Obama, the democraps and eneme boi.  But their clumsy attempts to prolong the sucking at the money cow’s tit is revealing some real questionable activities.  If not illegal activities.

Posted in Rambling | 1 Comment

EVERYBODY PANIC! SMARTMETERS MAKE YOUR FARTS SMELL RANK!

Thomas Sowell is a brilliant man.  Not only about economics.  His observations on life put into words the stuff you knew but never put much thought into or expressed in words.  His book “The Wisdom of the Ages” makes a point that stands out in my mind.

The point being that there is a wisdom in the collective thinking of a nation.  Consensus emerges from millions of people thinking, debating and experimenting.  The consensus born of this process is almost always right.  If your crusade goes contrary to that consensus, chances are you are wrong and should reconsider your position.

Collective wisdom is vital to capitalism.  Centralized planning causes devastation.  We have farmers making individual decisions about what they want to plant and never have a problem finding whatever we want in the grocery store.  The limited wisdom of central planning for crops had the Soviet Union in constant shortages.  As our government seizes more control of decisions that are made by bureaucrats, we suffer the unintended consequences.  These people think they are smarter than the collective wisdom.  They aren’t.

Some people need a cause.  And some really, really need a cause.  These people are prime candidates to be Paultards and 9/11 Truthers.  The farther out on the fringe, the more they are attracted to “the cause”.  They have wisdom that the rest of the entire planet is missing.  Nothing will convince them of their folly and they expend huge amounts of time and energy to prove they are right despite the conventional wisdom.  They seldom are.

I am beginning to think the smartmeter crusaders are “cause” people.  They are convinced that smartmeters will cause cancer, insanity, rank farts and are a form of mind control.  They ignore the fact that they eat a pound of uranium every day, their cancer is due to the smartmeter.

What is a smartmeter?  It is how your power company measures your electricity usage.  So they can bill you.  When you build a house, you buy a gray box and mount it on the outside of your house.  This is where the electricity enters your house or service entry point.  The meter base has a connection for the wires from the power grid to terminate (attach) and a similar connection where all the wires in your house terminate.  Between these two terminations is a gap.  No electricity can flow into your house until that gap is bridged.  You could take a chunk of metal and bridge that gap and the electricity would flow into your house.  You would also go to the hoosegow if you are caught doing that.

When you contact your electrical utility for service, the utility company brings a meter and plugs it into the meter base.  It bridges the gap so the electricity can flow into your house.  It also allows the utility company to measure how much electricity you use so they can bill you.  They place a seal on the meter box so they will know if you remove the meter and put in that chunk of metal to steal electricity.

You own the gray meter base box.  You bought it.  You do not own the meter.  It is the property of the utility company.  You cannot buy a meter and insert it in your meter base box.  It is illegal.

The power company has a person visit your meter once a month to “read” the meter.  Read meaning seeing how much electricity you used that month.  Every electrical meter in the country.  Every month.  Rain, snow and dog bites.  If you want electricity, you must agree to allow access to your meter for the “meter reader”.

Electricity is not a human right.  No one owes you electricity on your terms.

Smartmeters eliminate “meter readers”.  Automated phone switches eliminated phone operators plugging in every phone call.  Smartmeters cannot turn off your toaster or report to the sinister headquarters or EPA that your toast selection was extra dark.  At least not with the toaster you own.  Truth be told, no one cares about your toast.  Your life is not that important for anyone to give a flying fuck about your toast.

No appliance you own can be manipulated by government, the power company or the evil Dr. No that you think is obsessed with your toast.  Your appliances are not smart enough.  It is probably true that the power company can cut off the power to your house if you have a smartmeter.  It can also report your electrical usage, possibly in real time (as you use it).

I have a blog entry that explains what is possible using home automation.  Smart lights, lawn sprinklers and thermostats are available today but it is a niche market that, while growing in popularity, is primarily a DIY market for nerds.  It also explains why the evil Dr. No can’t turn off your toaster, even if he wanted to.  It is available here:

http://sloopsbilge.com/?p=289

An interesting post was brought to my attention.  Well, interesting in the “OMG I hate car wrecks but can’t stop myself from rubbernecking when I pass one” sense.  Everyone loves a freak show and trust, the author is one bigo train wreck freak.

http://healthfreedoms.org/2011/09/19/my-fight-against-the-smart-meter/

This loser wackjob exposes herself as a libtard because she rails against evil corporate profits when she defines cost savings as “money grubbers”.  Its painful to read because the wackjob author does not even have a concept of the subject.  She cites “experts” that say outright lies.  Here is a quote from one of them:

“That data shows when you are at home, shows when you are sleeping, shows when you are on vacation, when you have visitors, when you use a lamp, a power tool, some extra computers, and if you look like you’re running a business out of your home. It even senses when you bootleg energy off the grid.”

When you are sleeping?  Visitor detectors?

Evidently, she thinks stealing the property of the power company is a good thing and these evil smartmeters will somehow keep you from doing it.

Lady, citing “experts” that make such outlandishly wrong information, and representing it as fact is a huge mistake.  It leads people to dismiss anything and everything you write, even if you might have one valid point about smartmeters.  Exaggeration, hyperbole and outright lies discredit your article.

If 100,000,000 smart meters are installed and one person gets rank farts, she claims the smartmeter is the cause.  She must believe the only factor in rank farts is the smartmeter, or even the cow that was near a smartmeter.  The burger you ate made from that cow caused the rank farts because the cow passed within 70 milles of a smartmeter.

The rank fart epidemic of one could not be caused from the pound of plutonium the victim ate daily.  Nor from smoking a pound of weed every day for 20 years.  The smartmeter is the cause.

Zero credibility.

And she is asking everyone that stumps their toe to report it to her because it is obviously the smartmeter’s fault.  She seems to think trolling wackjob web sites that are authored by conspiracy wackjobs (like her) is “research”.  She does not even have a concept of what she is raging about.  The “magic” of electricity has wondrous, mystical capabilities that defy logic and physics.  And is inflicting the heartbreak of rank farts on that one in 100,000,000 meter victims.  Not to mention the outbreak of cows stumping their toes.

Lady, your “research” needs to start with the concept of how electrical devices work.  No lamp you own can report to the evil Dr. No that you turned it on.  If you bought a lamp that was smart enough to report its status, a smartmeter would play ZERO part in that ability.  And of course, you are not important enough for Dr. No to give a flying fuck about your lamps.

She also seems to think that she is important enough to cause the meter reader for her “dumb” meter to treat her differently than everyone else on the planet.  Because she took it upon herself to have pets and wants to lock the meter reader from having access to the meter, she thinks the meter reader should knock on her door and wait for an escort to her precious meter.  Get a clue, fool.  If every meter took 20 minutes to read, EVERYONE’S rates would go up.  Your uneducated foolish actions are now causing others to pay more.  You don’t have that right.  You are not that important to the planet.

Evidently the husband has medical problems that were somehow contracted without the evil smartmeter.

Smartmeters cannot cause the wiring in your house to burst into flames.  More lies that discredit your article.  You also make assumptions that are not true.  You assume there is only one model of smartmeter and all of them function the same way.

Electric utilities have tons of government regulations but are private companies.  She wants to use the power of government to control how those companies do their business.  There is no consensus that smartmeters cause rank farts except among conspiracy wackjobs that do not understand what a meter is.  I am sorry if you have rank farts that began when your smartmeter was installed, but that is not scientific proof.  Its your hypochondria and lack of anything important to do with your time.

In Texas (where she lives and I am a resident), the electrical utilities were “busted up”.  This was done to telephones years ago.  The company (named today) TXU Energy installed the power lines that feed electricity to the homes.  For a long time, if you wanted electricity for your home you had to pay TXU Energy.  Texas “busted up” that monopoly and today Texas residents can choose from several electrical service providers.  Same is true for your phone company.  But that would leave no one in charge of the power lines, transformers and meters.  In Texas, there is now a company that handles those resources for all the electrical service providers.  This is the company that owns the meters and services them.

This crazy bitch is going to the government and getting lawyers involved to force a private company to change the way they provide her service.  If you believe her uninformed paranoia, the smartmeter on your house can cause her problems so you have no right to a smartmeter.  You have no right to have a smartmeter because a cow 70 miles away might be changed by your smartmeter and end up in a burger she eats.  Which in turn would inflict the horror of rank farts on her.

To avoid her imagined rank fart disease, she and a few other wackjobs have decided that a private company must not automate the way they provide service to her.  And to me.  She has the right to up the price I pay for electricity because in her pointy head, it causes rank farts.  She wants a dog so she has the right to up the price I pay because she wants a meter reader to take 20 minutes to read her dumb meter.

These are the same people that bitch about the livery stables going out of business if the government allowed us to drive cars.  Uneducated wackjobs like this think they know more than the consensus, more than the collective wisdom of the ages.  She wants to inflict her control upon something she has no understanding of.  I hereby bestow a new title upon this wackjob and those of her ilk:  Smartmeter Nazis.

Here is another lie:

“The same claims were made a decade ago about cell phones and now people around the world know different.”

Let me play this wackjob game.  PERSONAL COMPUTERS CAUSE RANK FARTS!  I DEMAND THE GOVERNMENT SEIZE ALL PERSONAL COMPUTERS IMMEDIATELY AND DESTROY THEM!  Start with this wackjob Smartmeter Nazi that is belching carbon and destroying the planet for me and all cows by using a computer to post idiotic articles about subjects she does not understand.

No idiot.  I do not work for a power company or associated with them in any way other than a customer that pays his bill in full and on time every month.  I am not an expert about smartmeters or the electrical grid but smart enough to understand that this lady is an idiot, a control freak and Smartmeter Nazi.

Then this wackjob goes on about who owns the power lines, transformers and meters.  Trying to hint at something sinister.  And (GOD HELP US!) “young” companies inventing the meters.  Wanting you to believe your privacy is at risk through their evil magic smartmeters.  NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR BORING OLD SAGGING TITS AND PRIVACY.  YOU ARE NOT IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO CARE ABOUT.  You are too stoopid to understand what a smartmeter can and can not do.  You are too stoopid to know that all your concerns about your boring life and privacy are present with or without a smartmeter.

I did not read all her links.  After all her misinformation and outright lies she lost all credibility with me.  Her hysteria and lies have caused me to fall in love with my smartmeter and instilled a strong desire in me to get nekkid with my smartmeter in a bigo vat of lime Jello.

If the Smartmeter Nazi was smart, she’d learn the basic concepts of her subject.  Then filter out the lies and hysteria and focus on the only possible impact smartmeters might have on health.  Might have.  But no sane person would listen to this ignorant Smartmeter Nazi because of her lies.  Her cred is gone.

That possible concern is the radio frequency that a smartmeter might emit.  But if this wackjob does not understand that a meter has no possible way of reporting a visitor in your house, there is no way she would possibly understand radio frequencies and types of radiation.  But she can post from fellow wackjob sites that make up lies about technology they don’t understand either.  Facts are a downer for conspiracy wackjobs.  They crave causes and facts be damned.  Facts would screw up their desire to control others.

Problem is, there is no proof that the radio frequencies used by these devices causes harm.  But if the wackjobs can find one person with a phd in lesbian studies agree with them, that is good enough to feed their paranoia.

Here is some news for you tard.  Water utilities have automated your water meter.  That could explain why you and your husband are wackjobs if only anyone else serviced by these meters was as screwed up as you two.  Too late to change that with another of your idiotic crusades.  Its there.  You have no right to change it.  If you want water, you have to accept that water meter emitting DEADLY radio frequency up your ass.  That make you feel better?  All those water meters out there inflicting rank fart disease.  You missed the crusade.  And yet…those meters are not wreaking the havoc you claim electric meters will.

Here is the bottom line, bitch.  You have no right to electricity.  No one cares about your sad sob excuses and lies.  YOU chose to have a dog.  Provide access without restrictions or lose the power.  Your family’s declining health is NO EXCUSE.  You are not some brave warrior in battle for the good of humanity.  You have ZERO concept of what you are raging like a fool about on the internet.  Your attempts to make your unreasonable demands seem harmless are not hidden with your lame rhetoric.  You can’t blame smartmeters for being the tard that you are today so STFU or sit in the dark.

So grab a drink and toast with me.  Heres to Oncor shoving that meter up your shit hole as we relish the collective laugh at your insanity.

Signed with love and all due respect,

your sloopy ookems

P.S.  In preparation for the smartmeter’s anal insertion, please remove your head from your ass.  Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.

Posted in Rambling | 1 Comment

Levin and Jeffrey Lord Discuss Paultards

Levin talked with Jeffrey Lord about the article he wrote for The American Spectator.

http://spectator.org/archives/2011/08/23/ron-paul-and-the-neoliberal-re

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Levin and Frank Discuss Martha’s Vineyard

There is a TFR but you can fly in.

frank

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Levin on “social liberals” and gay marriage

Levin schooled a “social liberal” that wants to hang onto her principles but have social conservatives toss theirs aside.

Levinpart1

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The Journey

When you bring a pet into your life, you begin a journey – a journey that will bring you more love and devotion than you have ever known, yet also  test your strength and courage.

If you allow, the journey will teach you many things, about life, about yourself, and most of all, about love. You will come away changed forever,  for one soul cannot touch another without leaving its mark.

Along the way, you will learn much about savoring life’s simple pleasures –  jumping in leaves, snoozing in the sun, the joys of puddles, and even the satisfaction of a good scratch behind the ears.

If you spend much time outside, you will be taught how to truly experience every element, for no rock, leaf, or log will go unexamined, no rustling  bush will be overlooked, and even the very air will be inhaled, pondered, and noted as being full of valuable information. Your pace may be slower – except when heading home to the food dish – but you will become a better  naturalist, having been taught by an expert in the field.

Too many times we hike on automatic pilot, our goal being to complete the trail rather than enjoy the journey. We miss the details – the colorful mushrooms on the rotting log, the honeycomb in the old maple snag, the hawk feather caught on a twig. Once we walk as a dog does, we discover a whole new world. We stop; we browse the landscape, we kick over leaves, peek in tree holes, look up, down, all around. And we learn what any dog knows: that nature has created a marvelously complex world that is full of surprises, that each cycle of the seasons bring ever changing wonders, each day an essence all its own.

Even from indoors you will find yourself more attuned to the world around you. You will find yourself watching summer insects collecting on a screen. (How bizarre they are! How many kinds there are!), or noting the flick and flash of fireflies through the dark. You will stop to observe the swirling dance of windblown leaves, or sniff the air after a rain. It does not matter that there is no objective in this; the point is in the doing, in not letting life’s most important details slip by.

You will find yourself doing silly things that your pet-less friends might not understand:  spending thirty minutes in the grocery aisle looking for the cat food brand your feline must have, buying dog birthday treats, or driving around the block an extra time because your pet enjoys the ride.

You will roll in the snow, wrestle with chewie toys, bounce little rubber balls till your eyes cross, and even run around the house trailing your bathrobe tie – with a cat in hot pursuit – all in the name of love.

Your house will become muddier and hairier. You will wear less dark clothing and buy more lint rollers. You may find dog biscuits in your pocket or purse, and feel the need to explain that an old plastic shopping bag adorns your living room rug because your cat loves the crinkly sound.

You will learn the true measure of love – the steadfast, undying kind that says, “It doesn’t matter where we are or what we do, or how life treats us as long as we are together.” Respect this always. It is the most precious gift any living soul can give another. You will not find it often among the human race.

And you will learn humility. The look in my dog’s eyes often made me feel  ashamed. Such joy and love at my presence. She saw not some flawed human who  could be cross and stubborn, moody or rude, but only her wonderful companion. Or maybe she saw those things and dismissed them as mere human foibles, not worth considering, and so chose to love me anyway.

If you pay attention and learn well, when the journey is done, you will be not just a better person, but the person your pet always knew you to be –  the one they were proud to call beloved friend.

I must caution you that this journey is not without pain. Like all paths of true love, the pain is part of loving. For as surely as the sun sets, one day your dear animal companion will follow a trail you cannot yet go down. And you will have to find the strength and love to let them go. A pet’s time on earth is far too short – especially for those that love them. We borrow them, really, just for awhile, and during these brief years they are generous enough to give us all their love, every inch of their spirit and heart, until one day there is nothing left.

The cat that only yesterday was a kitten is all too soon old and frail and  sleeping in the sun. The young pup of boundless energy wakes up stiff and lame, the muzzle now gray. Deep down we somehow always knew that this journey would end. We knew that if we gave our hearts they would be broken.

But give them we must for it is all they ask in return. When the time comes, and the road curves ahead to a place we cannot see, we give one final gift and let them run on ahead – young and whole once more. “Godspeed, good friend,” we say, until our journey comes full circle and our paths cross again.

Crystal Ward Kent


Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

May I Go?

May I go now?
Do you think the time is right?
May I say goodbye to pain filled days
and endless lonely nights?
I’ve lived my life and done my best,
an example tried to be.
So can I take that step beyond
and set my spirit free?
I didn’t want to go at first,
I fought with all my might.
But something seems to draw me now
to a warm and living light.

I want to go
I really do.
It’s difficult to stay.
But I will try as best I can
to live just one more day.
To give you time to care for me
and share your love and fears.
I know you’re sad and afraid,
because I see your tears
I’ll not be far,
I promise that, and hope you’ll always know
that my spirit will be close to you
wherever you may go

Thank you so for loving me.
You know I love you too,
that’s why it’s hard to say goodbye
and end this life with you.
So hold me now just one more time
and let me hear you say,
because you care so much for me,
you’ll let me go today

Susan A. Jackson


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Rest in Peace my Friends

Flight is freedom in its purest form,
To dance with the clouds which follow a storm;

To roll and glide, to wheel and spin,
To feel the joy that swells within;

To leave the earth with its troubles and fly,
And know the warmth of a clear spring sky;

Then back to earth at the end of a day,
Released from the tensions which melted away.

Should my end come while I am in flight,
Whether brightest day or darkest night;

Spare me your pity and shrug off the pain,
Secure in the knowledge that I’d do it again;

For each of us is created to die,
And within me I know,
I was born to fly.

— Gary Claud Stokor

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Smart Meters, Houses and Cars

There is a ton of misinformation about this “smart grid” stuff.  This is my understanding of how it works and my contribution to the confusion.

The “smart” requires data.  It also requires two participants.  We can send data to a Tab can but the Tab can does not have the ability to understand the data sent to it.  Your personal computer does have the ability to understand that data, assuming the PC is speaking the same language.  Your cell phone understands data too.  And your car.  With data, it takes two devices to have a conversation.  Tab cans are not smart enough (yet) to participate in a conversation.

Both devices have to speak the same language for the conversation to be meaningful.  They also need to understand all the words in that language.  If I send the word (command) “ring” to my cell phone, it understands that word and knows to ring.  If I send the word “ring” to my car, it does not know the meaning so it does not ring.  We need two (or more) smart devices to have a conversation, they need to speak the same language AND they need to understand all the words.  Similarly, my car does understand the word (command) “unlock” but my cell phone does not.

My Tab can does not speak data but more and more stuff does speak data.  Our cars respond to data sent from key chain fobs.  The first words we taught our cars were “lock” and “unlock”.  Some cars understand the words “alarm” and “start”.  Some even understand “open the windows” and “what is the temperature inside the car”.  Problem is, do you really need to know the temperature inside your car?  Some of us do.  Or we think we do.  We think it adds to the quality of our life I guess.

People that think they need to know the temperature inside their cars have usually fallen into a subculture of home automation enthusiasts.  Home automation has been around for decades but until recently it has not been embraced by many people.  The first devices were light switches.  You could buy a light switch that understood data and the first words we taught them was “on” and “off”.  Then we added dimmers that understood “dim” and “turn on to 20%”.  We know we need two parties in a light switch data conversation so we had a remote control to send the “on” word (command) to the switch.

Today the vocabulary for our cars, light switches and dimmers has expanded.  They understand more words (commands) and can speak data back to the devices that send them words (commands).  When we send the command “unlock” to our car, the car would not have to send back the work “ok”.  If it did send back the word “ok” our key chain fob would know the doors unlocked.  If we send the “what temperature is it inside my car” command, it would be meaningless if the car could not respond back with the temperature.  When both devices in the data conversation can both hear (receive) and speak (transmit) we can add more functions.

The first key chain fobs would send out “unlock” to our car but who knows if the car heard the command.  When we taught the car to speak back, the car could answer “ok, I got the message and unlocked the door”.  It acknowledged successful reception and execution of the “unlock” command.  When we taught our light switches to speak, we could add the function “turn on 6 dimmers to 70%” when I press one light switch.  The switch could send out commands to the other 5 dimmers.

Today, we are teaching more and more devices to understand data.  Garage doors have spoken data for a long time but the thermostat for your house is a relatively newcomer on the smart device scene.  Refrigerators and freezers are available that can hear and speak data.  (Why?  To send an alarm if the temperature drops.)  Someday our other appliances will join into the data conversation, though I question the need and safety of turning on my garbage disposal remotely.  And do I really need to start my dishwasher from across the room?  Maybe I need to know when the cycle ends?

Personal computers are an obvious device we want in on the smart conversation with our smart devices.  We can control the thermostat from the PC or control our TV, DVR or music.  Set timers to turn on the burglar alarm automatically and ask the garage door if it is open.  We can control video surveillance cameras and be notified if a CO2 detector alarms.  We can even have a text message or E/mail sent when a bathroom vent fan is left on more than 20 minutes.  Since our personal computers are on the internet, we can access our smart home from any device on the internet.  You can turn off your A/C from work, smart phone, cell phone or any phone.

My point here is not to convince you that you have a need to change the brightness level of a lamp from 20% to 40% when you are vacationing in Venice.  My point is you can.  IF you want to AND your lamp speaks data.  This is about possibilities and capabilities, not need, desire or wisdom.

This is an important point.  You need a smart dishwasher if you want to control it.  And it must understand the word “set heated dry to off” if you want to turn off the heated dry option remotely.  Similarly, if you want to know how much electricity the heated dry option is using, the dishwasher must understand the question when you ask and it must be able to answer the question.  Some dishwashers are smarter than others.  Someday.  Today there are no smart dishwashers so I have to get up off my lardass and push the “no heated dry” button on the dishwasher itself.  We ain’t that  George Jetson yet.

We have talked about the need for a language for smart devices.  We have not talked about what carries the language between devices.  We will do that next but first a word about language compatibility among devices.

I don’t want to give the impression that all smart light switches speak the same language.  Not all people speak the same language and the same is true for smart light switches.  Or smart thermostats.  Or smart lawn sprinklers.  Most of these devices use their own proprietary language.  We do have one “open” language that any manufacturer can use in their hardware (X10), but it has limited functions so it is considered a legacy language.

Data has to be transmitted.  There are a variety of ways to transmit data.  I saw a Zenith TV that had a remote control with chimes in it.  When you pressed a button, it physically hit a tubular chime in the remote.  The TV listened for the chime and would act on the chime (command) when it heard it.  Our ears could also hear the chime.  Technology advanced to create a remote that played the sound through a speaker in the remote, and the chime pitch was raised to a range our ears could not hear.  Dawgs could hear them.  So could the TV.  With this, we could add more words (commands) to the data conversation between our TV and the remote.  Most TVs today use light to transmit the data from the remote.  The light is out of the range of our eyes but it is still just light.  Unless you have a real powerful remote, you have to point the remote at the sensor on the TV for the data transmission to be successful.  All these TV remotes have one way communication.  The remote speaks the words (commands) and the TV listens for them.  The TV does not talk back to the remote.

Sound waves can transmit data to our TV and so can light.  It transports or “carries” the data between our two smart devices.  But a Samsung remote won’t work with a Sony TV because they do not speak the same language.  A Sony TV will see the data transmitted by light from a Samsung remote, but the data (command) will be meaningless to a Sony TV so it will ignore it.  The TV must also understand the word (command) send to it.  If I send a Sony command to a Sony TV to display “twin view” (two screens), the TV must understand the word “twin view” within the Sony language.

Minimum requirements for my Sony TV remote to work:

  • TV must be able to listen (receive) commands (light sensor)
  • Remote must be able to send out infrared light commands
  • Both have to understand the same language (Sony, not Samsung)
  • Both must understand the words (commands) in the Sony language

Most TV remotes use light waves to “carry” the data to the TV.  Our key chain fobs use radio waves to carry the data to our cars.  The two smart devices (car and fob) must be within range of each other for successful communication, but the fob does not need to be pointed at the car.  A TV remote needs a “line of sight” to communicate successfully.  A car fob does not.  So stop pointing the fob at your car when you use it because you look like a tard.

If your personal computer is “on the internet”, it needs a method to transmit and receive data.  Some use “wi-fi” (radio waves) and some use copper (electrical – phone lines or cable lines).  It is also possible to use infrared light, though that is generally reserved for  short communications between mobile devices like PDAs and smart phones.  If you are big and bad enough, you could use light for your internet communication using fiber optics.  (No, your FIOS connection to your PC is converted to copper (electrical) before it gets to your PC.)

Light waves can carry data.  Fiber optics and infrared remotes are two examples.

Radio waves can carry data.  Wi-fi, cell phones and FM radio are examples.

Electrical pulses can carry data.  Phone lines and cable TV are two obvious examples.

BUT

Phone lines and cable TV have physical (usually) copper wires dedicated to the purpose of data communication using electrical pulses.  But we can send electrical impulses through other things that serve other purposes.  We can use the natural gas line serving your house to carry electrical impulses.  Yes, it is possible for your gas company to be your internet service provider.  I assume water pipes could carry data though the moving water might prohibit that.  Another carrier for electrical impulses is:  powerlines.

The wiring in your house.  The wires that bring power to your house.  Decades ago we discovered how to send data across live electrical wiring.  Live meaning electrical lines that are carrying current.  Both electrical current and data can be carried on your house wiring at the same time.  Electrical power travels in a sine wave and someone discovered how to insert data into the space where the sine wave hits the X axis.

Powerline communications made home automation enthusiasts piss their panties.  I could buy a smart light switch, install it in my house and NOT have to run a dedicated wire to send commands to the switch.  Though not all, most home automation equipment uses powerline communications.  The devices that want to participate need to have the electronics to receive and (ideally) transmit data onto the powerline.  This means that any device wired into your house (dishwasher or light switch) or plugged into an outlet (washer or TV or lamp) is eligible to be a smart device.  With today’s technology, you could see the time remaining until the rice steamer cycle completes while tooling down the road in your 1970 Eldo glurgolator six states away.  Assuming you can find a smart rice steamer.

Interesting thing about powerline communication is that when a command is sent (“inserted”) onto my powerline, it travels throughout my house.  Similar to a PC on the internet, each device has an address.  (The internet uses IP addresses.  Home automation devices do not but it is not dissimilar.)  Every device will see the commands sent out on the powerline but they ignore any command that is not addressed to them.  My dishwasher ignores a command addressed to a dimmer.

Another interesting thing is that when I send out a command on the powerline, that command is not only sent throughout my house but also all other houses that are serviced by the same transformer.  Yes, I send commands through other people’s houses and if they were smart enough and cared enough, they could monitor those commands AND could send out commands to the devices in my house.  There are devices that can filter out incoming and outgoing powerline commands but it must be installed at the electrical service entry point of the house.

An automated house that uses powerline communication (without a filtering device) could be open to monitoring and manipulation.  This is the case with or without a smartmeter.  If government spooks wanted to turn off the vent in my bathroom, it is possible.  It is also possible to filter those commands out that enter my house from outside my house.  When I turn off my A/C remotely, I access a PC inside my house and have my PC (or other device) issue the command.  I do not issue the command from six states away and let the command travel through the power grid to my house six states away.  The command is issued from within the house.  Could the spooks hack my PC?  Obviously they could.  Could a smartmeter issue commands to my smart devices?  Yes, unless I filter them.

So a smart meter OR ANYTHING serviced by the transformer that services my house could see or issue commands to my house.  Again, unless I filter out the commands from entering or exiting my house on the powerline.

Powerline communications can be used by other devices.  If you want to send video from your cable box to a TV in another room, there are devices that will send the video through your powerlines.  We also have devices that can connect a PC in your bedroom to your router in the basement.  Is it possible to use our powerline as an internet provider?  Yes it is possible but no, no one does it yet.

One of my houses in Texas has a smartmeter.  Does it worry me?  No.  Does it piss me off?  Yes.  I have to pay for the damn thing and THERE WAS NO OPT OUT.  Does it understand and monitor the language spoken by my smart devices?  Doubtful.  Can it issue commands to my smart devices?  Doubtful.  Can the software in the smartmeter be modified or upgraded to monitor and control my smart devices?  Possibly.  But that could be done farther away than the meter on my house.

So why do power companies want me to pay for a smartmeter?  This is my guess.  They use powerline communication to query the meter every month.  This is called “automation” but it really means they can lay off meter readers.  I suspect they can connect and disconnect the power service also.  I also suspect the smartmeters can have their firmware (software) upgraded to include future functions.

The big selling point they pushed was “energy saving”.  This is 100% bullshit.  The meter in no way lessens my electrical usage nor does it lower my electric bill.  The meter does have a communication interface for customers.  Mine uses radio communication for that interface.  Like all smart device communication, I need two devices to participate.  In this case, they will sell me a device for like $400.00 or rent me a device for like $50.00/month that will communicate with my smartmeter.  It might be that I could buy another device from a third party vendor because the language spoken by my smartmeter is an existing radio language (Z-wave).

What functions would this device provide me when talking with my smartmeter?  It would let me see how much electricity my dishwasher is using.  Yes, for $50.00/month I can watch a meter INSIDE my house tell me that I am going to pay for the electricity used by my dishwasher.  Or let me see that the vent in my bathroom is using electricity.  The device does NOT remove rank fart smell from my bathroom.  It lets me see that the vent is using electricity.

But it is now as simple as “dishwasher is using x amount of energy”.  The smartmeter has NO WAY of knowing WHAT is using electricity.  Just the amount of ALL the electricity your house is using.  You can watch the usage jump when you start the dishwasher and GUESS at the usage, but the smartmeter monitor has very limited functions.  It can’t know what is using electricity in your house.

I suppose there could be some value in service areas that offer reduced electricity prices for non-peak hours.  I could get out of bed and start my dishwasher at 3 AM I guess.  Or if it was a smart dishwasher, have my PC start the dishwasher at 3 AM.  I hear there are places that have these varying rates for off-peak hours but I have houses in several states and I don’t think any of them have that.

Now I would not know about that smartmeter because I never saw the bill announcing the arrival of my new and improved meter.  When I was in Texas a neighbor asked me about it.  So I called the company that I pay for electricity and the company that handles the power distribution.  In Texas, we can choose which company to pay out the ass for electricity but we have a different company that handles the grid (meters and outages and such).

This is how they say I can save power.

  • Buy their $400.00 smart device to talk to my smartmeter
  • Run around my house and unplug my breadmaker to see if the meter slows down
  • Crawl under my desk and unplug the cell phone charger to see if the meter slows down
  • Unplug my microwaves and ovens when I am not using them and set the damn date and time every time I do want to use them

Really?  Really?  I am supposed to get excited about that?  I should pay all that money for your smart device and crawl under my desk every night to plug in my cell phone charger and save 3 cents?  If I have your meter I won’t be tempted to run an empty dishwasher like I do all the time?  Watching a meter that I have to pay for will enlighten me that I am using electricity?

Here is what a smartmeter does.  Eliminates jobs.  People are expensive, demand benefits, call in sick and cause political problems on the job.  Smartmeters don’t.  All well and good.  I have automated lots of functions in my career that eliminated jobs.  I worked closely with InterVoice to develop the VRU.  These are those wonderful machines that answer the phone and ask you to press buttons instead of paying a real person to answer the phone.  Hey, if I didn’t do it someone else would have.  But I did not force the customer to pay for it and blow smoke up their butts by making up some lame advantage they would get.

Another possibility is that during a rolling blackout, selective houses could be excluded.  Houses with people on oxygen or the elderly, perhaps.  I suppose high use houses could be targeted too as punishment.

Is it possible for a smartmeter to adjust my thermostat?  Its possible but not currently implemented.  As I said, that could be done from anywhere with or without a smartmeter.  Could the power company know I have my A/C is set on 68 and charge me a higher rate?  Possible but not implemented.  With or without a smartmeter. Can the power company adjust my thermostat?  Possible but not implemented.  I paid a shitload for smart devices and technically it is possible for them to be controlled externally by a power company or government spook.  Do they do that now?  No

Can the power company adjust your thermostat?  No.  Your thermostat is not smart enough to respond to a command.  It speaks no automation language.  It is not a smart thermostat.

A smartmeter in your house cannot control any device because your lightswitches don’t have the smarts to understand and respond to commands.  Same is true of your thermostats and dishwasher.  A smartmeter can report in real time your usage and disconnect your service.  It cannot tell what is using that electricity.  The real time monitoring it reports could be to a meter inside your house but it could also be reporting to government spooks using powerline communications.  Could we have laws that mandates all new devices be smart devices?  You bet.  A government that can regulate a toilet and clothes dryer cycle can certainly pass laws to regulate other appliances.  But control of those appliances does not need a smartmeter.

After buying a smartmeter that I did not want, I asked my neighbor to alert me of any changes.  And she did.  She sent me an enclosure from her power bill that was offering a “programmable” thermostat at some ungodly high price.  Note that a programmable thermostat is NOT the same thing as a smart thermostat.  A programmable thermostat does not communicate with other devices.  It has enough smarts to turn on and off the A/C and heat based on the criteria you set (time of day, day of week, etc).  A smart thermostat communicates with other devices such as a PC.  A programmable thermostat can’t be controlled by other devices.  A smart thermostat can.

The thermostats being offered by the power company at a hugely inflated price were both programmable and smart.  Why don’t they tout the smart function of the thermostat?  I suspect they don’t want people to know that a smart thermostat can be monitored and controlled externally.  Why buy an expensive thermostat if it just replaces a working thermostat?  They throw in the programmable function to entice you to “save money”.

Is it possible that the thermostat could talk to the smartmeter?  Absolutely.  If the thermostat reports “A/C on” to the power meter, the meter could see my electrical usage jump by 12 units.  It would have no way to assure that all 12 units were being used by my A/C.  I might have turned on 8 electric clothes dryers at the same time the A/C came on.  But as the smartmeter watched the usage over time, it could get a good idea how much electricity the A/C consumes and break out the A/C cost from the overall electricity bill.  Your choice then is to sweat and save money or pay the damn bill anyway.

Another point brought up about smartmeters is the radio frequency they emit.  They certainly can emit radio frequency but it might just be that the function can be enabled/disabled by the power company.  This would allow them to charge money to people if they buy a smart device to put inside their house from a third party vendor.  If they can’t sell me a $400.00 device, they could charge me $10/month if I want to buy one from somewhere else.  It could also be true that the radio in the smartmeter is always on and protected by a password key that I would have to buy from the power company.

Should we worry about the added radio frequency pollution?  I’m not sure.  Some say radio frequency causes cancer or impacts people’s behavior.  You can find “experts” that will swear its harmful and others that will swear its harmless.  I do know that we have added a HUGE amount of radio frequency bombarding us and it is increasing dramatically.  Today a car bristles with radio frequencies.  Satellite communication, bluetooth connections, radars to aid in parking, radars to adjust cruise control speeds or stop your car, key chain fobs, proximity sensors, garage door openers and radar to warn if something is in your blind spot.  That is one car.

Satellites bombard us with radio for gps, TV and communications.  Every phone in our house is using radio instead of wires so we can pee while we talk.  Wi-fi and cell phone towers are EVERYWHERE and the number of devices jumping on them is EXPLODING.  Weather radars bombard us, emergency personnel spew more and more and an airplane emits so much that ground linemen can be microwaved.  Wireless headsets, wireless keyboards, wireless mice, wireless speakers and wireless printers for our PCs because we don’t want to see wires.  Even my refrigerators and freezers are wi-fi.  Are smartmeters the devices that push us over the edge?  I doubt it.

Home automation nerds have been clamoring for the capability to monitor electricity usage in real time.  They want to see that when “the wife” reads two chapters in her book, it cost 7 cents.  Why?  Because they are nerds.  No other reason.  They will tell you its all in the name of saving energy but no rational being thinks its wise to spend $15,000 on equipment to tell them the wife’s reading cost 7 cents.  Especially when the wife is going to read that book if she knows it cost 7 cents or not.  Knowing it costs 7 cents does not save one cent and implementing the technology to know it costs 7 cents can be in the tens of thousands.  Home automation is a hobby or for convenience or security.  Anyone that tells you it saves money is a liar.

As I understand it, smartmeters are a small part of the smartgrid.  The smartgrid is more about ceding control of sections of our existing grid to others.  If California needs extra power today, they (at one time) could call Texas and Texas had the option of sharing power.  Sharing power today can be done but it is not done with the click of a mouse.  It would if we had a smartgrid.  When a click of the mouse someone could control the grid.  That mouse can be anywhere on the planet.  Including a desk at the EPA.

It also means the smartgrid could be hacked.

Now that I have espoused my bullshit – I mean – wisdom about smartmeters, I like to make it clear that home automation does not have to be a “system” that costs $15,000.00.  You can automate one lightswitch for very little money and gradually expand it.  Or never expand it.

A rant on this digital versus analog crap.  Yes, digital is an accurate method of transmitting data.  But the human animal is NOT DIGITAL.  Our ears and eyes are analog.  Until we have an interface surgically implanted into our brain, the argument is at what point we convert from digital to analog for humans to consume.

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Levin on War Powers Act and Presidential Powers

I tried to play BTR constitutional scholar with the same result.  Wrong.  Kinda.

I was curious about the controversy surrounding the idiot’s power to take us into war in Libya.  So I asked a friend’s opinion:

War Powers Act Part 1

War Powers Act Part 2

This will have the paultardz screaming and inserting foreign objects in their anus.

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Levin on Daniels

Daniels added addressing the unions to his “social issues” column.  Another untouchable.

daniels

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Levin Shares a Moment with a Queen

Levin interviewed the pervert that is obsessed with infant penis.  Here is how that went.

circ

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Placeholders of History

My Mama told me to stop harshin’ on other peoples’ hometowns.  So I really try.  Let’s just say that people don’t have to live in all that snow stuff ifyouknowwhatimeanandithinkyoudo.

My hometown has lots of southern plantations.  Lots of them.  Some more grandiose than others and you really don’t want to live in them.  But they are beautiful and historic.

The Butler family owned one of them.  I say family, but it was an awfully small family.  Mr Butler was long dead and that left Mrs Butler and their one son, Pierce.  We called him Piercy.  I guess some of our family were friends with the Butlers because I recall attending a birthday party there when I was young.

The thing I recall about the Butler family is the whispers.  Mostly that Mrs Butler was a drunk recluse.  I never saw her.  At the birthday party they said she was drunk in her bedroom.  Who knows if it was true.  But I do know she called her help “servants”.  I really don’t know why I was invited to the party because I don’t recall Piercy either.

The main house was not the Greek Revival style common to many plantation homes.  And I can’t tell you much about the house except that it had a big courtyard and was 2 or 3 stories.  It was big and lavishly furnished, at least what a kid thinks is lavishly furnished.

Plantation houses did not have kitchens in the house.  Kitchens have fire.  Fire is hot.  Fires burn down houses.  The kitchen was one of the “out buildings” on the plantation.  The carriage house, wash house and slave quarters were also out buildings.  I don’t recall much about the out buildings except what we called the dungeon.  Walls about a foot thick.  Only about 3 feet high.  A slit in the wall about an inch high for air.  It is where rogue slaves were punished.  That was seared in my memory.

I also recall the road to the plantation house.  One lane.  Huge oaks overhanging the road with Spanish moss that hung low.  About 3 miles long with a picturesque bridge.  Its still that way today.

The road is still that way because no one is allowed on the property.  The main house burned down.  Completely to the ground.  The top two rumors were that Mrs Butler burned it down in a drunken stupor or the servants stole the house contents while Mrs Butler was drunk and burned the house down.  Either way, she died in the fire.  There is a caretaker that lives on property in an out building but Piercy is long gone.

When I was probably about 18, a guy came up and introduced himself to me.  It was Piercy.  Don’t know why or how he knew who I was.  But I recall a pleasant few minutes of conversation with him reminiscing about family.  He looked like a street bum.  When he left, he got in a VW van that had (I am not shitting you here) a wood burning stove in it.  I told my aunt and she said she heard the rumor that he was living in and tooling around the country in a beatup van.  She had no contact with him for years.

Like many southern fortunes, the Butler fortune had dwindled over the decades.  But Piercy was far, far from destitute.

For decades I thought about that plantation.  It is eerily romantic and picturesque.  I always wanted that drive to my home.  But most of all I recall the chapel on the property.

The chapel is small.  Someone said its 25 by 65 feet.  It was built in 1837 by slaves for the family and slaves to worship in.  It was “consecrated” or some Episcopalian thing.  I remember a little more about it because my Aunt was married in the chapel before Mrs Butler died.  I recall my Mom and other family members decorating the altar area with magnolias.  I also recall the marble floor because people were buried under it! As a kid, that sticks out in your memory.

The chapel is not near the main house.  Piercy has the caretakers oversee periodic maintenance on the chapel but it is pretty much the way it was built.

How ’bout that Katrina.  It scattered all them Coonasses far and wide.  And two of them wanted to buy the house and property that adjoins my Mom’s.  The owner is a dear friend of our family and her failing health caused her to move in with her son.  Her son wanted my Mom to meet the Coonasses that wanted to buy the house.

The Coonasses wanted to buy the house because theirs was destroyed by Katrina.  Their life plan was to retire on some property nearby and build a house.  Katrina advanced that plan.  Now these were not the “HEP ME JAWGE BUSH” Coonasses sitting on their rooftop with a sign that read “GIMME FRE SHIT”.  He was a judge and she was a bigtime lawyer in Nawlins.  Which in Louisiana politics equals a comfortable degree of money because of the corruption.  They made a handsome offer for the house.

My Mom became friends with the Coonasses and I met them while visiting her.  They called to invite her to dinner and kindly agreed to include me when told I was visiting.  Must have been uneventful but I recall they picked up the check for the entire group at the dinner.

It was probably curiosity about the freak son that had the Coonasses asking my Mom about me.  So on another visit I offered to return the dinner invitation.  This time the lady sat next to me and I can well imagine my Mom was worried about what I would say in response to the Coonass questions.  And there were tons of questions.

When I found an opening, I thought I would turn the conversation to the house they were going to build.  The only thing I like better than building houses is Tab.  Third in line is talking about building houses.

When I asked about where they were building, she told me on some land she inherited adjacent to the Butler’s plantation.  Which really piqued my curiosity.  As it turned out, the Coonasses were somehow distantly related to the Butlers.  She knew Pierce.  He was still alive and living in New York.

The next thing I wanted to say was “Hook me up with a meeting with Piercy because I want to buy that plantation.”  Which got said in a more delicate way.  They knew Piercy but no one really knew Piercy.  My Aunt had no way to contact him but now I had an in.

I’d like to say Piercy is an eccentric southern gentleman but fact is he is just weird.  Half paranoid about money and half apologetic about money.  And very skeptical of people because he seems to think his only value as a friend is to fund the good times.  That is, if he had a friend.

Everyone seems to be afraid of Piercy.  Maybe they think he will leave them some money if they stay quiet enough.  He has no wife or children and if you met him, you’d understand why.  I doubt he has much money but one thing is for sure.  If he does, he does not care about it.  New money can drastically change people’s lives and that might explain it if the money he has was new.  I didn’t expend too much energy dwelling on the why.  I suspect Prozac couldn’t hurt though.

I did get to meet him.  The Coonasses were reluctant to contact him but they did.  They insisted on telling him why.  Which was all good by me.  I just wanted a yes or no.  They thought when he heard the why, he would not agree to meet me.  They were wrong.

They were kinda wrong.  When I went to New York, he failed to show up to meet me.  OK.  I took that as a no and went home.  Pissed.  Pissed was probably part of his plan or some mind game he wanted to play.  I resolved not to play his game and forget the whole thing.

Months later while visiting my Mom, the Coonasses told me Piercy was coming the next day to see me.  My first thought was to leave or refuse to meet him.  Its not like the Coonasses talked with Piercy even once a year so I don’t know how he knew I was there.  I suspect the Coonasses called him again so snubbing him would probably show disrespect toward the Coonasses.  He wanted me to meet him on the property.

I had no idea where the property is.  My Mom knew the general area but she was clueless on how to get there.  So I called my Aunt.  She thought she could get us there and agreed to go with us.

The drive is just the way I remembered it.  Still one lane and pretty enough to make you vomit.  The road is not in the best shape and I was glad we drove my soccer mom SUV instead of my Mom’s car.  Not that we needed 4 wheel drive but the extra road clearance came in handy.  My Mom barked orders from the back about dodging holes as my Aunt and I cackled as we bounced along.  She was excited about seeing the place again.  I was too.

Everyone told me to call him Pierce.  Which meant I had to call him Piercy.  Even though he corrected me when we shook hands.  He probably thought it was some kinda power play but my intention was to remind him that he does have a past and he does have people that remember Piercy.  He has lived his entire life isolating himself from people and while I have no desire to be his BFF, I do want him to know that his act does not intimidate me.  I accept Piercy as Piercy but not there to kiss his royal butt.

In any event, someone did an extreme makeover on him.  Not his weirdass personality but his outside.  He looked normal.  Once he learned that I was not buying into his intimidation game, we almost had a normal conversation.  I thought his concern would be about my plans for the property.  Turns out he wanted to talk about my motivation for wanting to buy the property.

I never did get a feel for his financial state.  Not that it was important.  Guess I wanted to know his motivation for considering my offer.  Seems his aversion to all things “normal” did not extend to avoiding taxes.  He had the place designated a historical landmark.  Which adds conditions and limitations.  But it also saves a shitload on taxes.  Seems even old hippies hate paying taxes and willing to compromise on their hippie oath to save the money.

Maybe he needed to save the money.  Maybe he had changed.  I really did not care.  I wanted a yes or no and tiring of the game.  So I just asked for a number and an answer.  Which did not lead to an answer but it did move the game along to talking money.  Kinda.  I talked about the appraisal and the market value then gave him a generous offer.

Nothing is simple with old hippies trying to hang on to their dream of playing anti establishment.  “Its not about the money.”  Right.  Time to fish or cut bait.  Call his bluff.  I offered to place the money in trust and let him name the trustees.  Use it for any cause he wanted to support.

That got some stammering.  And it was tempting to push the idea and make him squirm.  But that would not get me to yes.  So I asked him what he had in mind.  His number was lower.  And after some face saving muttering, he wanted the money.  Old hippies have a price and sometimes it works to your advantage to support them when they are trying to justify selling out their principles.

I gave him his money and created a Butler family trust with the difference in our offers.  He asked that I keep on the caretaker (I was anyway) and that I continue to open the chapel once a year to the black churches (I was planning to).  Nothing binding.

I asked if he wanted to be buried with his family in the plot behind the chapel.  He said he never thought about it and had no one to claim his body when he died.  How sad id that.  He has clung to his isolation all his life and though probably not destitute, does not even have a friend on the planet to notify when he dies.  Maybe its all he knew.  Maybe there is a reason for it.  I just find it sad.

No last will and testament either.  I told him to have “If found dead, please call…” tattooed on himself and I would get him in the ground and pee on his grave.  Who knows.  The guy might just do it.  I did ask him to put something with his important papers to notify me when he died.  We had the lawyers that handled the sale set up his will.

Once in a blue moon, I get a call from Piercy that always starts with “I’m not dead yet.”  I just say “What’s the holdup?”  We have a little superficial conversation but we keep each other at arms length.  I think both of us like it that way.

I have not done much since acquiring the property.  The caretaker is still there and oversees the same 3 old men that work there.  She needs constant reassurance that she is part of whatever might change.  So far the change has been limited to new underground utility service, a gatehouse and new fencing.  Which might not sound like much but considering that every fart needs approval from the historic society bitches, its a huge feat.

Rumor was that after his Mother passed away, Piercy set up his own commune on the property.  Today, the caretaker and 3 old men live in various out buildings.

Yes, that is a casket in the picture below.

Posted in Rambling | 5 Comments

How to Score with da Chickz EVERY TIME

Like everyone else on the planet, I know you are wondering sloop’s secret to success with da ladies.  At least 5 times per day I hear “Sloop, how do you get all da chickz throwing themselves at you?”  Aside from my obvious rugged good looks and massive package, I do have another secret.  Cheesecake.

Cheesecake can make a homo turn hetero.  It does not need exotic ingredients or secret ingredients.  Those do not improve on a plain New York style cheesecake.  Chocolate is good.  Not in Caesar salad.  Not in cheesecake.  Fruit toppings might be good but don’t place it on the cheesecake until you serve it.  Gilding the lily might be pretty but if people are honest, you can’t beat a plain cheesecake.

I’m right about this.  Because I am the guy with all da chickz.  This is my cheesecake recipe.

There are a few of tricks to making a good cheesecake.

*     Room temperature ingredients.  Important.

*     Don’t beat air into the cheesecake batter.  Cake batter needs air.  Cheesecakes don’t.  It causes the cheesecake to crack when you bake it.

*     Cornstarch.  It prevents cracking too.

*     Don’t open the oven door.

*     Start the cheesecake in a hot oven then turn it down.  Then turn it off and let it stay in the oven.

*     Place the crust in the freezer as you prepare the filling.

*     Invest in a springform pan and treat it with care.  Don’t allow anyone to close the pan because they will spring it and it will leek.

*     If the cheesecake is a gift, cover the bottom with parchment paper, close the side around it and trim the paper.  If you loan the pan it will be sprung IF it is returned to you.

*     Never put a warm cheesecake in the refrigerator.  Let it cool (in the oven) to room temperature.

*     NEVER serve a cheesecake until it has been refrigerated a minimum of 8 hours.

*     Fancy crusts screw up a cheesecake.  Cookie crusts never turn out a good as you think they should.  Make a graham cracker crust and do not pack it down in the pan.

*     Cheesecakes are so rich that no one can eat much of it.  They don’t have a ton of sugar.  Go with the full fat cream cheese.

*     Almond extract is better in a cheesecake than any almond flavored liquor.

This is one bigass cheesecake.

Crust:

  • 1 1/2 – 2 1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs
  • 1/3 cup confectioner’s sugar
  • 1 stick melted butter or margerine

Mix it.  Put it in the bottom of a spring form pan.  Lightly press it down.  Put it on the sides if you have the patience.  No blind baking.  Put it in the freezer while you make the filling.  Save some crumbs for the top if you want.

I need to adjust my crust.  Its good but oily when you bake the cheesecake.  Might need less butter or maybe the full 2 1/2 cups of crumbs.

Filling:

  • 2 lbs. cream cheese
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 generous tablespoon vanilla extract
  • 1 teaspoon (or less) almond extract
  • 2 tablespoons cornstarch
  • 1 cup sour cream

Room temperature.  If you want to beat the cream cheese until you see no lumps, the time to do it is before adding anything or maybe after adding the sugar.  Add the ingredients in the order shown.

Easy on the almond extract.  Less is more.

Topping:

  • 1 1/2 – 2 cups sour cream
  • 1/4 cup sugar (or less)
  • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1/4 teaspoon almond extract

Mix it.

Baking:

Preheat oven to 450 degrees.  Remove the crust from the freezer.  Put in the filling.  Drop the pan from about 6-8 inches above the counter top to level it out.  Put it in the oven for 10 minutes.

Turn down the oven to 250 degrees.  Don’t open it.  Bake an additional 45-50 minutes.

Turn the oven up to 350 degrees.  When the oven reaches 350, take out the cheesecake and cover with the sour cream topping.  Don’t dump it all on one place.  Gently pour it all over the cheesecake and smooth it out.  Garnish with the reserved crust crumbs.  Return the cheesecake to the oven for 10 minutes.

At the end of the 10 minutes, turn off the oven.  Don’t open the oven door.  Leave the cheesecake in the oven with the door closed until it cools.  This will take at lease 3 hours.

A cheesecake needs 24 hours in the refrigerator.  Minimum of 8 hours.  Don’t put it in the refrigerator until it reaches room temperature.

I’ve experimented with tons of cheesecakes.  This is my own creation and my most requested cheesecake.

Posted in Rambling | 2 Comments

Reminiscing on Lezboz in the Golden Age of AIDS

Guys hella heart lezboz.  Not only because of their common interest in hawt chicks but also their common love of snuff, spiting and sports.  They also like a chick that can relate to the drudgery of the daily facial shaving routine.

I hella heart the lezboz too.  Mostly the lipstick variety but I enjoy the company of the bull dykes also.  The main reason I like them so much is because of the way they reacted during the Golden Age of AIDS.

The Golden Age of AIDS is back when there was an AIDS.  The librtards and militant queens won’t allow us to say AIDS any more.  It had a bad connotation in our lexicon so rather than doing something productive like limiting the spread of the disease, we changed the name.  Weak people get AIDS, victims are HIV positive.  And no one wallows better in victim status than gays.

You have to admit gays can sling some hair.  Every hetero man should let a queen do his hair because the chicks will love the doo.  Get hetero chick friends to choose your clothes so you won’t look like a queen but only trust the doo to a queen.  The best time of sit in their chair is just after lunch.  They have had enough booze to be creative but not so drunk they screw it up.  Ignore their glances at your package.  The new doo will will make it worthwhile because of all the chicks you will attract.

The Golden Age of AIDS coincided with the Golden Age of Big Hair.  Not sure if one caused the other but constant contact with bleach and other hair “product” is bound to lower someone’s resistance to infections.  No one does better big hair than southern ladies and during the Golden Age of Big Hair, Dallas was the capitol.  Chicks would spend big bucks and big hours at the salons getting pretty.  This was not the Golden Age of Day Spas.  That came later.  This was the salon.

I had a friend that was on the cutting edge of big hair during that era.  Dead ringer for Joan Collins.  She had a salon that was among the Dallas top three salons.  Raked in millions because she knew how to “work it”.

Everyone knows if you are not a gay man, its a bloody fight to be a top salon.  If you are not a gay man salon owner, you gotta hire butt loads of gays to work in your salon.  Which means drama.  High drama.  Cage up that many queens with sharp implements and you are asking for trouble.  She had her share of trouble.  The better ones would leave every other week to open their own shops and return a few days later when they sobered up.

She thrived surrounded by her queens.  They adored her and she adored them.  Rumor had it that she was a gay man but I dismissed that because she was married about a dozen times and whelped three kids.

Back when we had plain old AIDS, you have to know that a salon full of gays would be hit hard by it.  AIDS equaled death in those days.  In many cases it moved fast from diagnosis to deathbed.

She was fiercely loyal to her friends and her employees.  Having her own share of health problems, she constantly tried to convince enough of her employees to pay part of a health care policy cost.  Few would do that.  Most would drag in hungover late morning, do some doos, collect some cash, take a disco nap and hit the bar that night.

I got a call from her one night.  She had located one of her missing gays and needed me to help her retrieve him.  Seems he had been at a party, got sick and they put him in the corner.  Two days later they call my friend to collect him because looking at a sick guy was putting a drag on tonight’s party.

Two days of no food or fluids would make a healthy man sick.  Add an immune compromised complication and he needs medical attention.  And a bath.  No one would help me carry him to the car because they were afraid they might contract AIDS.

In any event, I got him to the car and we delivered him to the county hospital.  They refused to take him.  My friend told me to get him out of the car and lay him in the emergency room door.  The hospital relented and agreed to patch him up.

How did his life come to this? It ripped my guts out.

One of her favorite gays could not sling hair but would “work” in the salon when he needed money.  Not even the other gays liked this bitchy drama queen.   No one liked him except my friend and his “lover”.

The “lover” was actually a nice guy.  I had met him a few times but would not say we were friends.   He had a degree of success with his business selling fringe in the market district of Dallas.  Now I am sure he would be horrified when I call it fringe, but fact is, he sold fringe.  Generally able to support the two of them.

He got AIDS.  The “lover”.   And knew he would be soon leaving this earth.   His concern was that his bitchy spouse have a condo that was paid for.   So he found one he could afford, which was not nearly glam enough for his bitchy spouse.  But it was paid for.  We cleaned, painted and replaced light fixtures.  The happy couple moved in.

The trouble in this paradise was that the bitchy spouse would not sleep in the bed with his “lover”.  Or attend to his medical needs.   He moved in with my hairdresser friend until his “lover” died.

My sister, my hairdresser friend, me and a few others were left the task of caring for this skeleton.  I recall the look of humiliation on his face when I had to change his diaper.  I doubt he knew who I was.

How did his life come to this?  It ripped my guts out.

In her life, my hairdresser friend saw lots of heartache.  Her gay brother had grandiose dreams of being a “makeup artist” to the stars.  Never really worked out but she funded schools, trips and living expenses for him to chase his dream.  Not long after moving him to West Hollywood, he hanged himself.  There was no shortage of rumors about why he did it, but the police never investigated.  His “lover” was too busy to return to Dallas for the funeral.

How did his life come to this?  It ripped my guts out.

If you knew her mother you would understand why my friend and her brother were so screwed up.  Strong mean old bitch.  But she was included in everything in my friends life.  She told me one time as we were sitting on bar stools that her mother would sniff her panties when she returned from a date.  Her solution was to ditch the panties before she returned home.

In her life, she funded lots of good times.  For family as well as friends.  She made millions, married millions and pissed it all away.  She was generous with her money and the money of anyone she knew.  I learned she was in hock when she had three credit cards declined at the airport.  Followed by the repossession of her leased baby Benz.  The Golden Age of Big Hair was ending.  Booze blurred the pain of looking at an aging face and disfigured boob from a burst implant.

She clung to the Age of Big Hair as long as she could.  When it passed, it took more than her money.  It took her dignity.  Her last gala AIDS fund raising hair show put a fine point on it.  When she took the stage to speak, she was so drunk she kept saying “fabulous” until someone eased her off the stage.

She was a friend that would give you her last dime and feel no shame in taking your last dime.  I helped keep her afloat and though I have never asked my sister, I bet she did too.  Weller and water sustained her and being hospitalized with pancreatitis did not change that.

Rumor was that she sobered up.  A cab dropped her off at my house one night and she said she was going to stay with me a few days.  She rummaged through the kitchen looking for booze and when I told her there was none, she opened my refrigerator and found a beer.  I began opening the remaining beers to pour them out and that set her off.  After reading my beads she set out on foot.  Not sure where.  I phoned my sister to come get her bag and retrieve her from the side of the road.

That pretty much ended our friendship.  I would occasionally hear from my sister that she had another big plan but her heyday never returned.  My sister called me when our friend landed in the county hospital.  Massive stroke.  Her screwup children had her moved to hospice and removed her feeding tube.  When I visited her it was the first time I ever saw her without the big doo, big fake nails and big makeup.  But I could still see the Joan Collins.

Her mother, my sister and I were about the only people that visited with her in hospice.  I doubt she knew anyone was there.  I pretended she did know.  I talked about when I drove her new Infinity Q45 from Houston to Galveston at 100 mph because we were on a mission to hone our tans on a beach.  The time when we sailed her little boat from Port Arthur to Clear Lake.  All of us were sunburned from a hard all day sail in the gulf.  When we docked in Galveston, she appeared in the hatch looking fabulous and said with a tear in her voice “This is camping.”

How did her life come to this?  It ripped my guts out.

Happier thoughts.  Swilling beer with the lezboz.  I had some wonderful Tuesday nights meeting my lezbo friends to swill beer and listen to live music.  Once the lezboz know you ain’t there to pick up chicks or kiss their girlfriends, they adopt you as their fag hag.   Or something like that.   Lezboz generally keep their drama inside the lezbo community so guys are safe swilling beer with them.

My favorite lezbo had a wife, but I was her favorite person that had testosterone.  We only had swilling beer in common so our friendship was pretty much confined to that.  I would occasionally go with her to feed the ducks and nutria at an area lake.  We’d hit the bread store, they would squeeze bread to screw it up, stuff it in bags and sell it to us for bird food.  Shitloads of bread.  One buck per bag.  Shitloads of bags.

She had long, long straight hair and the best skin I have ever seen.  No makeup and still pretty.  Now there was a lotta skin.  She was heavy and knew it.  And always conscious of where she could sit and such.  She insisted on driving her van because she could fit in it comfortably.  Golden heart and reluctant to talk bad about anyone.

Now I certainly had no problem with her size because when we would feed those ducks, the ducks would attack.   They knew her and knew when she arrived, they got food.  Buttloads of ducks.   And those nutria things with huge orange teeth and bloody eyes have to be the spawn of Satan.  Now I ain’t no pussy or nothing like that but I don’t want birds and Satan’s spawn near me.   So my friend would allow me to hide behind her as she battled the insane animals she loved to feed.

Her “wife” was also a wonderful lezbo.   A little shy and she rarely went to the dyke bar with us to swill beer.  Successful engineer in the defense contracting area.  She was the breadwinner in the family and happy with it that way.

I’d like to think I was their favorite man of all time.   Fact is, I was not.  They always had some queen adopted into their life and being the Golden Age of AIDS, they did their share of caring for them until they died.   Each time they would be brokenhearted and swear off having queens as friends.

The bartender at the dyke bar made it into their hearts.   Nice enough guy I guess.  Kept the beers coming and ice cold.  Very popular with the queens because he was tall and rumored to have a bigo wanker.   They wanted it.   Problem was, he wanted bigo wankers too ifyouknowwhatImeanandIthinkyoudo.  In other words, he wanted to be the insertee.   Not the inserter.

Well that was awkward.  And I don’t want to leave the impression that I have spreadsheets of wanker sizes.   I recall this because when my lezbo friend had his wanker in her hand so he could use one of those urinals in bed, she looked at me and said “And to think I have lived my entire life trying to avoid these things.”

No insurance.  Spent every dime he ever made.  Estranged from family.  All equals the lezboz moving him into their house to care for him as AIDS took its toll.  They had tons of offers from the “gay community” to help them.   None of the offers ever panned out.  I babysat occasionally but was very uncomfortable being alone with him.  His mind was affected before his body was weakened.  Very affected.  My friend called one day for help because he was outside eating his own excrement from his diaper.  She needed help.

How did his life come to this?  It ripped my guts out.

In the Golden Age of AIDS, there were tons of stories like these.  No one to feed them on their deathbed.  Change bandages.  Change diapers.  Bathe them.  No church to turn to.  No help from their “community” of “friends”.

Dead queens with no one to claim their body.   No one at their graveside as they were laid to rest.

Now I got two of them buried but never intended to become the grim reaper for unclaimed queens.   Mz Mac saw it differently.   She took on the role.  Her career in life has been to force people to volunteer for her various causes and telling them the amount to put on the check.  No one dared say no to Mz Mac.  If they tried, she ignored the no and expected you to do as told.  And we did as told.

The county hospital notifies her of orphaned dead queens and she makes the arrangements.  We would attend the graveside as they were buried.  Usually together but one of us would always be there.  Occasionally I’d ask my lezbo friends to do it for us when Mz Mac and I would be out of town.   They asked the “gay community” for help with it but got only one broken promise.

Since the Golden Age of AIDS has passed, Mz Mac gets few calls now.   We have 14 unoccupied plots and every time I think we have closed up shop, I get a call.

She called me to wish me a happy birthday last Monday.  And told me of a queen found dead in his apartment.  Intentional drug overdose.  His body had been there for days and his cats were eating his face and hands.  That has haunted me since I heard it.

How did his life come to this?  It rips my guts out.

In my isolated corner of the internet, I want to give some unsolicited advice to the “gay community”.  Stop throwing your sexuality in my face.  Stop demanding my respect.  Stop dancing in “pride” parades long enough to help someone in your “community” that needs help.  You might not be able to change what you are attracted to, but you can change the way you live your life.

Posted in Rambling | 2 Comments